Emotions on Knowing There's Less Than a Week Left...

Yes, there are only six days remaining until the 14th, in which we'll set off on our great hike during the late morning hours. 

I've been asked so many times recently "Aren't you so excited?" or something of that sort.  I want to reply an honest "yes", but I'm searching inside myself right this instant and I can't truly say I feel any excitement at the moment.  And I know this is for two reasons: 1)  I'm still at home, in Columbia, where my main focus is packing up our entire belongings so that we can prepare to move (on Saturday, the 12th).  Having so much to think about here at home makes it nearly impossible for me to devote more than a minute's thought to our impending departure.  2) I guess it hasn't hit me yet that this is really happening.  I've been dreaming about hiking the AT for years, preparing for 12 months, and now that it's nearly upon me... I can't say I that my mind is totally understanding that concept right now.  The AT has always been this "far away" thing to me.  I guess my mind doesn't know what to do now that it is something I can almost grasp.

And perhaps there's a third reason that I'm not bursting with excitement yet.  I think a huge chunk of me is scared.  Not scared of bears, or twisting an ankle, or running out of money, etc.  Moreso scared of being confronted and tested by this thing I've built up for so long and either failing to accomplish it or coming to find it's not what I wanted it to be.  I imagine it's something along the lines of meeting a pen pal face to face for the first time, after a long and wonderful correspondence.  What if you get along horribly in real life?  What if you find that the other has a speech impediment that makes them unintelligible?  What if they are waaaaay more exciting on paper than in person? Maybe what I'm feeling is really just nervousness more than fear, and I've not been able to recognize it as such yet.  Maybe some of you might understand that...

One thing I'm almost certain of is that I know this confused nervousness won't last too much longer.  I do get butterflies picturing Stewart and I standing under the arch at that beginning of the approach trail and waving goodbye to Windsor and Casey.  Taking those first few steps, I know I'll have a huge grin on my face that will be nearly impossible to wipe off (ha! Impossible, that is, until we reach the 600 or so steps we need to climb to get to the top of the nearby waterfall.  That will wipe a smile off a clown's face!).  I'm also eager for the drive up to northern Georgia... watching the scenery change from flat and piney piedmont to rolling hills to forested valleys and gray and misty mountaintops.  I'm absolutely glad we booked a night in the Amicalola Lodge with two of our friends.  That alone seems like a wonderful trip in itself.

I'll write at least one more before the morning of the departure. 

Till then...